Originally Chris Colfer/Darren Criss/Klaine/Glee/Starkid/general fangirlism. Now that plus more political/ feminism stuff than I originally intended for a fandom blog. Yay.
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My headcanon for the episode they’re filming:
Glee hasn’t yet done an anti-drug PSA episode, so clearly puck will host a party where he gets everyone to try his marijuana brownies and they all hallcinate that everyone is everyone else.
And Tina and Rachel get into a car and drive while high which causes them to crash so they too have to spend the rest of the time until graduation in wheelchairs at which point both Rachel and Quinn will magically be cured just in time to walk across the stage to receive their diplomas while giving each other meaningful looks.
YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST
I’m pretty sure Brittany is one of those people whose iTunes libraries consist entirely of the theme songs to video games and tv shows. Any other music is whatever she learned in glee club.
when you’re in the band at mckinley high, you:
- have seen rachel and finn make out more times than you’ve heard tina speak
- you must know every song
- you have no hopes or dreams of your own
- nor do you have any concerts
- (those might interfere with rachel singing about her feelings!)
- did i mention memorizing every song
- also watching finn and rachel get their voyeurism on
• must be a soulless automaton robot powered by the fuel of Finchel makeout sessions which explains why there’s so many
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FUN FACT ABOUT ANDERSON COOPER
The picture above is him as a baby, shot in 1968 for Harper’s Bazaar.
It was taken by the famous photographer Dianne Arbus, who was known for capturing the strange and sometimes disturbing.
Since Anderson Cooper probably wasn’t famous at the time Cooper was born, my headcanon is that the Anderson parents were art enthusiasts who saw this photo and then were like AWESOME NAME BRO.
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what if kurt’s secret admirer is jeremiah
he’s been in love with kurt ever since kurt caught his eye when blaine and the warblers serenaded him
and being unemployed has given him a lot of time to think
so finally, one year later, he’s decided to confess his love
ok I know everyone wanted the chance to have fluffy haired Blaine, but…
pretty much every show ever to exist shows women waking up in the morning in full make-up and perfect hair.
not saying it’s not stupid, but to be expected, no?
blaine is a wizard, who can magically gellify his hair at will.
Only rational explanation.
i bet michelle bachmann’s kids are klaine shippers
i mean, it’s already my headcanon/truest wish in the world that Blaine’s ex-boyfriend (guy he went to Sadie Hawkins with?) is a character played by Daniel Radcliffe.
Because like. Harry Potter-ception.
MAKE IT HAPPEN RIB.
“It was actually a very poetic moment. I was on stage by myself at a break. There’s nothing as majestic as an empty theater, and I was kind of onstage going through some steps, and emerging from the shadows comes Dan. We had a nice exchange, and it was good to finally meet each other.” Darren on meeting Daniel Radcliffe x
Dancing on a stage by himself and Dan came out of the shadows?
And then Dan said he was proud to have Darren taking over for him. And Darren said, “I want you to be.”
And then they made out?
The best story.
Oh good, it wasn’t just me then.
LEGIT BEST HEADCANON
this is where sam finds the ferret he’s going to adopt
1) Proposes to Quinn before they are even dating.
2) Woos her by offering to take her to Color Me Mine and forming a Justin Bieber tribute band.
3) Flirts (?) with Santana via James Earl Jones impressions.
4) Joins the SYNCHRONIZED FUCKING SWIM TEAM to impress Mercedes.
5) Also he’s a stripper for no reason.
Seriously, he is officially THE MOST RIDICULOUS CHARACTER on a show that also features fail!Blaine “Put Your Toys In the Drawer Tonight” Anderson, Kurt “Let’s Improve Our Street Cred By Performing an MC Hammer Song In the Library” Hummel, Finn “She’s Having My Baby” Hudson, and Noah “Watch My Mohawk Get More Ridiculous Every Week” Puckerman.
Well played, Sam Evans.
I honestly could not give two fucks about Sam until he started getting dumber and dorkier and then I was like, “I AM ON BOARD.”
IKR? I had no use for the Finn 2.0 storyline until all of a sudden Sam’s dork was busting out all over the place and I got a little heart-eyed. And then Prom Queen happened and all was lost.
Next on Glee:
- Sam joins a Muppet Tribute Band to raise money for the Glee Club to go to Nationals/Sectionals/ Artie’s Wheelchair Ramp Benefit Competition
- Sam adopts a stray ferret he finds by the side of the road because having a pet would help him with the angst of being homeless, but the ferret ends up chewing through all his belongings leaving him even more tragically poor, so his family is forced to use rat poison to kill the ferret so it can’t further ruin their lives, leaving poor Sam to cry for days and sing a sad song over the ferret’s dead corpse.
-Since ferrets are illegal in many states, Sam decides to become a political activist for the rights of people to hold ferrets as pets
- He gets hilariously fired from his stripper job from failing to show sufficient amounts of skin, because he is a ~moral person~ at heart.
-Now lacking in money, he decides to put his abs to use by joining the circus and learning to be an acrobat.
-When he is not being an acrobat, his family decide to adopt a dreadlocked foster child, played by Samuel Larsen, in order to get money from the government to not be homeless.
-Samuel’s character needs money as well, so he joins Sam at his job as an acrobat at the circus. They sing a duet while flying around on high wires.
-Samuel’s character also joins the glee club, and when he sees Noah Puckerman, he feels like he recognizes him and his name, but can’t quite place why. He talks to Puck, and it turns out they’re long lost cousins!
-He joins Puck’s family and everyone has a happy ending.
-Now that he has a real family, both Sam and Samuel Larsen’s character are able to stop working as prostitutes, which they are also doing when not being acrobats.
-Because Ricky Martin’s teacher character was their main source of income in prostitution, Hot Teacher is left lonely and aimless. He strikes up an affair with Rachel, who has not been fulfilled by FInn lately and needs to sing more songs and get more screentime in pointless plots.
- and that’s what you will have missed on glee
can i write for the show now or